Yes, I admit that I am selfish! I have such a strong desire to complete this 50 mile trail race in December and it's taking all the extra time I have!!
I can envision myself crossing the finish line and crying like crazy with joy, feeling a huge sense of accomplishment that I had prevailed over Preeclampsia. This vision is constant in my thoughts. It's paired with the memory of struggling to walk once around the nurses station, post ECLAMPTIC seizures, the day after my 1st son was born.
I know it seems insane for me to run such a long challenging race. Insane it may be, but it's just 4 more months of me getting to do what I love, to the extreme,...with a purpose! Rest assured that I won't die trying to run this race, if at any time I feel the need to quit, I can. And I'm ok with that. I just want to try!
Running brings me back to who I am at heart, minus the clutter of everyday life. I can be at peace in my heart, mind, and soul. I'm sure you all have something that you feel this way about, something that is just fun for you.
My days don't always work out as I would like them to and it's hard to let a run go when I'm so wanting to do it. But I guess that is what my biggest challenge is, working with what's given to me. I'll make it work, somehow.
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